Guess what I'm wearing tonight?

Well I just wanted to make you all jealous and tell you what I was going to wear for my big shindig in Kosovo for New Year's Eve. It's green and tan with matching tan boots. Yes I know you are all jealous of my Army uniform. Ha just kidding I'm actually really pretty sad I can't wear a cute dress and heels and go out somewhere tonight. However I will get to be with the bf and my friends so I shouldn't really complain too much. At this time next year, I will be looking so much better that the only option will be to wear a dress and show myself off. We can all have hopes and dreams right?

New Year's Eve

I am automatically saving myself like a 1000 calories in alcohol tonight because I'm going to a different camp in Kosovo for New Year's Eve. I feel like I'm a winner just for that alone. I will get to see the bf tonight too for our first New Year's Eve together. I'm really looking forward to it plus he said they are having food catered in tonight for a party, which for me, good food makes me really excited!

So I've been thinking about what I would like my 2010 New Year's Resolutions to be. Normally I don't make any because I never follow through with them but I'm feeling much more positive this year. I've been thinking about it for awhile and here's what I came up with:

Run a 10k or possible half-marathon

Travel as much as possible while I'm in Europe

Achieve my weight loss goals and then maintain

Become more fitness minded

Figure out what to do with my life (I'm open to suggestions)

Maybe there will be more later. I don't want to put up too many things because I'm not the greatest at following through with things. I'm really going to make an effort this year and make 2010 a happy and positive one in my life!

Pics From This Weekend

Sorry none of these are in order........Having some weird problems with blogger tonight but this is me and my adventures in Skopje, Macedonia

Oops

Rock concert + beer = Probably not the greatest thing for my new and improved lifestyle.......or trying to be new and improved lifestyle...

Week 4

So I've been slacking....Not as much as in my working out as in keeping up my blog. Whoops sorry everyone hopefully it won't be too bad though from now on.

My Christmas ended up being pretty good. I didn't eat so much that it felt like my stomach would explode so I was pretty happy about that. Actually I was pretty proud of myself for not overindulging like I SO wanted to do.

I went to Skopje, Macedonia this weekend and had a wonderful time. I will have to post pictures on here later tonight when I get back to my room. I had traditional Macedonian food which was delicious and healthy too! There were lots of vegetables and cheese. Yum! I brought back a lot of cheese so my fridge is now overflowing with cheese but that's ok because it makes me very happy to have it.

As far as my other eating/drinking habits go, I may or may not have had McDonald's twice in Skopje. But oh my gosh it was so good to have American food! After living in a strange country for the last 2 months it was nice to have some normal food. I had a lot of wine for supper on Saturday too. My workouts consisted of walking around the city.

I have been much better since I got back home and had a really good cycling/lifting weights workout last night. So after all this crazy debauchery I still managed to lose 1 lb this week! Yay so for 3 weeks I've lost 1.8 lbs. That's actually really sad but I am more focused on my goal because I'm going to look good in a swimming suit in Greece whether it kills me or not! Ok maybe not that far but I'm going to look good.

Me and the roommate decided we are going to TRY and not drink after New Year's Eve. I mean it's hard, especially here, because there is alcohol everywhere but I think that's one of my main problems. Everyone has been laughing at us, saying "yeah, that's never going to happen," but like I told her we don't really have to tell people we're not drinking "forever" we're just not drinking that night and I think people will lay off. I think those would be the people known as "sabotagers." They try and make you feel bad about something good you're doing for yourself. That really is the point of everything that I've been doing. I just want to feel good and comfortable with myself and if people try and cut me down for it then that's their problem. A lot of it is just because they don't think they could do it so they don't want anyone else to be successful either. I know I've been like that before too. I tried to make myself feel better by saying I didn't care about working out and it wasn't important but then I ballooned up in my weight and was completely unhappy so apparently I did care a little bit.

Wish me luck for a better week. I really just need to break my plateau of hovering around 145 and finally get down to 140 or lower. I know that won't happen this week but it's going to be my short term goal.

Yesterday

I can actually say that I had a really good day yesterday. There really weren't too many bad things that happened at all. I got my Christmas present from my boyfriend which was beyond amazing. I can't even believe that he got it for me. He knows I love Tiffanys so he got me a diamond necklace from Tiffanys. If you would have told me six months ago I would have a boyfriend that would do that for me I would have thought you were insane.

Anyways.......the main point of this post was that I had a really great workout last night too. I think the last couple times I've worked out doing cycling at the gym I wasn't pushing myself very hard. There were some other people cycling too so it motivated me a little more than normal. It was especially motivating because one is a woman who is in such great shape that it motivated me to push myself harder. I probably won't ever look like her because she's much more petite than I am. I have a kind of bigger frame but still I can become more lean like her.

I'm supposed to be lifting light weights too to help build up my shoulder muscles. I think I need to do more of that but I'm just not very good at knowing what to do when it comes to that. I think I will have to google some stuff and check it out.

Goal for today: Drink more water--I've been kind of slacking and drinking more Coke Zero than water. At least it doesn't have any calories right?

Scary

Well I have discovered that I can blog at work. Now I know what I'm going to be doing for the next 2 weeks when almost everyone is out of the office except for me! It doesn't mean I will be getting more in shape though necessisarily but I'm going to try.

I was really determined to go to the the gym last night but then it ended up being a friend's birthday so we went out to eat in town. Sounds easy right? It turned into one of the most terrifying experiences of my life going down a hill that was pure ice was concrete buildings on each side almost close enough to touch from the car and a concrete wall at the bottom of the hill. Our vehicle was sliding down the hill and somehow miraculously we did not hit anything. I honestly was just thinking how much is it going to hurt when we hit that building. Everything worked out ok but my nerves were pretty much shot after that for the rest of the night. Needless to say we didn't find the restaurant because our GPS failed us majorly. The gym didn't quite fit into my schedule for the rest of the evening.

I will be going to the gym tonight and spending some quality time there. We haven't really been friends lately and I need to change that. Also on a better note, I ordered some jeans that were a size 8 and I got them in the mail yesterday. Even though they are stretch and pretty tight I think I can probably still wear them. Yeah go me I just need to get to the point where they actually fit pretty decently instead of my feeling like I painted them on my body. They will probably be worn on my trip though this weekend tight or not. I better stop eating until then!

Week 3

Well I weighed in this morning at 148.2 lbs. I knew it was probably going to be a gaining week but I was still hoping that I would somehow how have a miraculous weight loss. This is a new week though and even though Christmas is this week I'm going to try and be more mindful of what I eat. This also includes me having enough willpower to make it through the next 20 minutes of work before lunch without breaking into my bag of tortilla chips with salsa because I know I'd probably polish off the entire bag. I just have to dream about some delicious vegetables instead of chips. I'm not sure if it is really going to help at all we'll see........

Motivation

Sometimes my boyfriend can be amazing. This is part of an email he sent to me a couple weeks ago and I just wanted to put it up here for some self motivation that no matter how I weight people still like me anyways. I was pretty impressed that he quote Kim Kardashian....He probably doesn't even know who she is!

I just wanted to tell you, i know it might not make you feel any better, that i love the way you are and my love will not change. Quote from Kim Kardashian, " If I'm happy and in shape, that's all that should really matter." she said that cause someone told her that she was overweight. Baby, you are not overweight, and when you say you have a double chin, its was just how you were positioned, have you looked at the amazing photos that we have taken thus far, i only see a woman that is so beautiful that it makes me so proud.

Yikes LONG WEEK

Well to be honest my week has been incredibly crazy and I haven't worked out since Tuesday. My office started getting remodeled this week so we had to move everything out. I don't think I sat down the entire day on Thursday so that's kind of a workout right?

Just in general, work has been crazy and it's been long because of personal reasons but it is Sunday and officially a new week. I can put all my bad eating, drinking too much alcohol, and lack of working out behind me and start new again. I guess I'll see what the scale says tomorrow when I weigh myself. It will probably be a gain but hey what can you do sometimes. I am going to the gym today though. Not sure when.....Probably after baking Christmas cookies! As long as I don't eat too many of them it will be ok! Wish me luck this week!

"Life is too short to wake up in the morning with regrets, so love the people who treat you right, forget about the ones who don't. Believe that everything happens for a reason. If you get a chance, take it. If it changes your life, let it. Nobody said life would be easy, they just promised it would be worth it."

"Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity."

How true is this quote? I know that's how I often feel when I watch tv or look at magazines. And how do they still have big boobs too? Life is definitely not fair.....

The Doctor

Well I finally figured out what's been wrong with my knee....Apparently I have fluid built up on it making it inflammed and hurts like crazy any time I do any type of activities involving any kind of impact. I've also had problems with my shoulder and apparently it is from overusage which is the same thing that my knee is having issues with. I'm supposed to be starting light weight training to start strengthening the muscles in my shoulder. I hope it works but I have my doubts. So all of this means I can't run for a month and I won't be going to WLC (an Army class to teach you how to be an NCO basically). Not that I'm completely disappointed about not staying in the field in February.........

Anyways I discovered I can still get some cardio in on a bike so that's good. Now my abs will become amazing because it's one of the only things I can do without hurting the knee. Yes I know I talk about this a lot on here but I'm so frustrated that all the things I want to do I just can't. Damn, how ironic, as is my life most of the time.

My Before Picture

So this is completely scary but here is my before picture.......I definitely don't want to have this body at the beach in Greece that's for sure! It's only a starting point and not my ending point.

Week 2

Well this is the start of week two. I think, if I could see the scale correctly with blurry contacts this morning, I've lost 1.8 lbs since last week. Maybe it's just a fluke but I've been eating a lot more fruit and vegetables than ever before and I didn't drink too much this last week so that's also a good thing I think.

I decided to skip the workout tonight because I'm exhausted I have a feeling that's a sign of how the rest of the week is going to go. I'm going to the doctor to have them look at my knee again because it just really isn't getting better so that's pretty cool. All I want to do is run!

This Week

Well pretty much this entire week has just been a lot of failures with the diet. I ate a chicken club sandwich with french fries last night and had some Taco Bell today even though it was a chicken salad. It actually just made me feel like crap literally so I'm pretty I won't ever be eating there again. Anyways I have been making very bad choices this week. It honestly is very hard to eat healthy here because there is literally no new choices to eat at all that are healthy. So it's basically just the same salad EVERY SINGLE DAY. So I'm not exactly feeling so hopeful about this new diet but I'm hoping that I basically look amazing for when I go to Greece. Argh I'm so frustrated with this whole situation but I really am trying at least in my head.

So I bought some new exercise magazines today so that was quite the mood booster. I love all of these magazines and yes I am a magazine hoarder but it's all good I only have so few joys in life right now so I don't really care. I also bought a new exercise ball because the ones here are total crap so I just bought my own. Yes I will be the cool girl hauling a huge ball all over camp all the time to the gym. Oh well I'll also be the hottest girl on camp because of that ball hahaha. Anyways I'm off to eat now I'm hoping that there is something good and kind of healthy at the DFAC tonight!

Starving

I'm so hungry right now and I just want to dig into all my food in my room. I have a box full of junk food in my room. If I didn't want to look amazing in a swimming suit in 5 months I would be halfway through a box of Girl Scout cookies right now.........

Nonrunners cannot see how they can afford the time to run every day. But runners cannot imagine getting through a single day without it.

The Runner’s Book of Daily Inspiration

Lost Motivation

How is it possible that I lost motivation and it's only day 3. Yesterday and today I definitely fell off the wagon but I'm trying not to get down about it because tomorrow is another day. Last night just involved way too much beer so oops. It tasted really good last night but didn't feel so hot this morning. Anways work has been extremely stressful and I've been overwhelmed a lot so that's my excuse. For some motivation I've been looking at a lot of other weight loss blogs too and I have definitely seen some really awesome stuff so that's very helpful. I've been trying to find The Biggest Loser seasons on DVD but I haven't been able to find any of them....not really sure why? Then to top it off Kosovo internet sucks and won't let me watch them online anywhere. It's like the internet is against me in trying to watch this show.

I've been trying to think of some things to help me with my long journey ahead of me. Short term I'm going to WLC in January meaning I have to take a dreaded PT test at the beginning of January. FML I hate PT tests. If I didn't suck at situps so much it probably wouldn't be so much of a problem. I'm hoping maybe by the time I leave here I'll be ready to run a half marathon maybe......At least a 10K for sure I'm hoping they have some more at Camp Bondsteel because I know they have had a few already they just never let us know about them.

I also tried to buy a tape measure so I could measure my lumps and pumps but of course this stupid PX doesn't sell them here at all. It shouldn't be that difficult to get one you would think but things never cease to amaze me here that's for sure. I did buy some Diet Dr. Pepper and some Slim Fast shake mix stuff. I'm hoping maybe I will like them and I can replace a meal with them. I was thinking breakfast but I love breakfast food too much to do that probably. We'll see how long it last I'm trying very hard to make this last.

My big goal is to look basically amazing in a swimming suit by the time I have leave at the beginning of May. I mean it's pretty sad that my boyfriend has lost tons of weight and here I am just hanging out with the same chubby body. I obviously can't let him show me up so I gotta work on it........This is one of my options for swimsuits/bodies lol. I think she is one of my favorite models too, Marisa Miller. I will look at least somewhat like her someday. Haha

This is another picture just for me and my motivation. Anyways this is all for now. Stay tuned!

Beginning Weight

149.........wow I didn't even leave home weighing that much.......It is all this damn alcohol they have flowing very freely and it's usually rude to say no so what to do......... I'm not sure when I'm going to do weigh in. I think Mondays seem like a pretty good day since it's the beginning of the week etc. I think that's what I'm going to do on Monday mornings. I have such good plans sometimes.

Day 1

So I finally had the inspiration to do something about my weight and not just sit around and feel bad about myself for it. I am currently deployed to Kosovo with the US military so what could possibly be a better place than this finally get this under control. I guess I could say that I'm not completely huge and morbidly obese like a lot of other people are in the world. However, I just have always felt like I've been so overweight, or well at least above average, ever since I can remember. I just feel uncomfortable with myself and it's something that consumes my life. Why I couldn't answer that but it just does. Is it so hard for me to want to be the hot girl not just the average blonde girl? No I don't think so, so now it just means I actually have to do what I always think I should. Not obsess about it but actually do something and make some changes. I hope this helps me anyways. Hopefully this can be a little more humorous than me being serious and my life suck because I'm a chubby girl! Speaking of chubby, this is my BMI chart that I did online tonight. Yep I'm in the overweight category......Pretty sweet online chart for telling me that!

I think my goal weight is between 125-130 lbs. Yikes I don't even remember the last time that happened. Maybe like 7th grade........I would love to look like a middle schooler again! Well keep looking for updates and make me do this so I actually have some motivation in my life!